Not Your Average Comparison Conversation

I think we need to be told not to compare ourselves like we need another hole in the head, as they say.

I hope to bring us to a new vantage point in this conversation about comparison because seeing things from a different side can often make the biggest impact.

Comparison has to be talked about- we simply cannot ignore the issue by acting like it doesn’t exist. It does exist and it’s hurting us.

I heard about this scientific research that was done on twins. In a nutshell, twins are more apt to compare themselves to one another because they are like each other in many ways: same age, same parents, same DNA, etc. So, if one twin is more successful than the other or one is thinner than the other or one has more friends than the other, things get testy.

While you, my dear reader, may not have a twin, you have the same opportunity to compare yourself just as if you did have one. Two words: social media. You probably knew I would bring that up in this conversation because how can I not?

Again, it is scientifically proven in today’s age that we have the same opportunity to compare ourselves as twins do because of social media.

I’m not saying that we should all get off of social media right now and never return. This conversation isn’t about social channels but it has to be mentioned due to the impact it is having on us all at this time.

What we do need to do is be very sensitive to the amount of time we spend on our social apps, what kind of content we are consuming, and how we are treating those around us after we close the apps.

Has your mood shifted? Do you feel better or worse? Do you find yourself wishing you had better success, clothes, shoes, house, car, etc. like so and so? These are a few questions we can ask ourselves when coming back to reality.

Leaving social media for a time might be necessary or your plan might simply be putting up boundaries for yourself that the Holy Spirit will give you if you ask Him. Regardless of what you do with social media, it is the top contributor in today’s society for comparison.

We read a story in the Bible about comparison between a set of twins, Jacob and Esau. As was customary in that day, the oldest sibling, Esau, would receive both the birthright and the blessing, but everyone wanted them. The full story is told in Genesis chapters 27-35.

In brief summary, the boys had been at war with each other since the womb. Jacob, who’s name means deceiver, tricked Esau out of his birthright and later on, his blessing. After his blessing was stolen, Esau went to his elderly father and said, “Is there nothing left for me?”

As a generation, this is exactly where we are, too, with comparison. We are looking at others’ success and asking God the same question that Esau asked his father, “Is there nothing left for me?”

A key point in this story is when Esau asked his father to bless him also, but since his brother, Jacob had already stolen the blessing, his father prayed something different over him. The end of the prayer is a huge takeaway- it says in Genesis 27:40, “You will live by your sword, and you will serve your brother. But when you decide to break free, you will shake his yoke from your neck.”

When you decide to break free.

Years later, Jacob and Esau were reunited and upon seeing each other, we would imagine that they would still be angry, but that isn’t what happened- they embraced one another. But Jacob, fearing his brother would kill him when he saw him again, had brought lavish gifts, but instead of Esau gathering up all the treasures and leaving, he simply tells Jacob that he doesn't need those things, that he lives a blessed life.

We can decide to break free from comparison at any time. We do not need what our brothers and sisters in Christ have to live a blessed life. God knows exactly what we need to be happy, and every person is different.

If God knows the number of hairs on your head, (and my head keeps Him busy because I shed like nobody’s business) then do we not believe He knows exactly what we need at the right time every time?

There is more than enough for everyone. Our brother being blessed by a new car or our sister being blessed with a new baby does not take away from us. We serve a God who is El Shaddai, the All-Sufficient One, the God who is more than enough.