Mama friend, you’ve seen Encanto more times than you have fingers at this point, no doubt. There’s a song in that movie that I feel represents us mamas as a whole- here are a few lyrics that really stuck out to me:
“Give her all the heavy things we can't shoulder
Who am I if I can't run with the ball? If I fall to…Pressure Like a grip, grip, grip, and it won't let go”
As moms, we are used to taking on a lot of pressure from all sides- our kids asking for their eighth snack (how are they still hungry!?), laundry that’s literally overflowing out of the basket, the dishwasher that’s always running but somehow, there are still dishes in the sink waiting their turn to be loaded, job pressures, dinner, hosting holidays, and more.
We get the picture. It’s all deserving of the word, pressure. In the dictionary, pressure is, “the use of persuasion, influence, or intimidation to make someone do something.”
Truth time… After reading this definition, we can then see that pressure is really put on us by us. Just as God won’t make us do the right things, people cannot make us do things, either. There’s always a choice involved on our part.
The Holy Spirit who lives inside of us will most definitely work through people and speak to our spirits in order to get His message across of what He wants us to do but there is never any force involved. We were born of a free will and that won’t be taken away- God created us to choose. We are coming up on the holiday season where things will inevitably get even busier and pressure will start to arise. One pressure we mamas feel going into December is shopping. I want to first say that God is all for us having things as long as things don’t have us. We aren’t talking about materialism right now- rather, we are talking about spending what we don’t have or spending because we feel pressure from social media and other moms’ plans for their own children. While our kids may not have the same love language, they will all remember quality time spent with laughter and connection over the latest and greatest toy. We can look back on our childhood and validate this theory. Sure, we might remember toys we got as kids that we really wanted but we can see a totally different perspective if we ask ourselves this question, “Would I have rather gotten the toy I begged for that Christmas or spent time with my mom building a gingerbread house not worrying about how messy it got and laughing together instead?”
Again, this is not to say we can’t have both- maybe you can buy your kid the toy and spend quality time. We need to get the truth inside of us to know that we do not need to put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to do things we don’t have the capacity to do right now.
My 5-year-old daughter loves to watch videos of herself on my phone when she was a baby. Her number one question is always this, “Mommy, where were you?” And my answer is always the same, “Mommy’s right there, you just can’t see me because I’m the one taking this video of you, sweetheart.” I would much rather be present than to accumulate presents in order to try and buy happiness or to compete with any other mom and what she's doing with her kids this holiday season.
This is a hard realization, but it’s one that we need to hear. You are the best mama for your child- do you do everything right all the time? No. There isn’t one perfect mother who has ever lived or will ever live on this earth. However, we can learn and teach as we learn from Jesus what true priorities look like. What I want Aubriana to know most about Christmas is that it isn’t about the presents- sure, they are fun to get and give, but what about the entire reason we’re doing it? We celebrate Christmas because that’s when Jesus was born to save the world. That is what needs to be front and center. He is our greatest gift. The more we teach our children this the more they will know and think of it this Christmas morning and 20 years later when they are teaching their own children about Christmas. The pressure is off, mamas. Not that you need permission not to buy into pressure this year, but it’s a great reminder for us all. They will remember you, your laughter, and the memories you make together over the piles of presents we think we need to have in order to have a “successful Christmas”.
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